My Return!

 I can't even start to encompass what the last 12 years have been like.  Fast is all that comes to mind.  But i have decided to blog for myself.  No one looks at this anyway.  But i have done such a disservice to my children by not journaling, that this is my attempt to be better, as i am always in front of a computer.

I learned last night that my cousin, unfortunately, took his own life.  He was 37.  It makes me so sad that that was the only result he felt he had to come to.  His only option.  But i never thought i would be in a position to somewhat understand.  Having had these feelings once before, i am so glad that i never acted on my thoughts.  And my sweet calli.  Having similar feelings.  I don't know what i would do without my children.  My heart goes out to my aunt and uncle.

So, we have now lost all of the 4 kittens that were left in our yard 2 weeks ago.  We did everything we could to keep them alive.  But i believe this was always in store.  I just feel for nick who had to deal with it.  But now no more suffering.  Nick and i thought that maybe they have been suffering the whole time.  Maybe the momma cat knew this.  That's why she abandoned them.  We were just prolonging the inevitable.  

Keira has her spring showcase this week for cheer.  Bama and Bampa are here visiting for the event.  I can't wait to see all of her hard work for the past year be showcased.  She is amazing.  All of my children are amazing.  Turds they are, but amazing.  My love for them is so profound. 

My hope is to write in my blog every few days.  I want my children to know of their past.  I want them to know me in all my phases of life.  I promise not to let this go for another 12 years.